


Disengagement

by Missy



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Adoption, Character thinks proposal was rejected but other person misunderstood, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Marriage proposal is initially rejected due to misunderstanding, Pet Adoption as Proposal, Pets, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: In which "let's get a dog together" is shorthand for "let's get married."Lassie doesn't get it, but then again he doesn't get most things Spencer-related at first blush.
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75
Collections: Just Married Exchange 2020





	Disengagement

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hyx_Sydin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyx_Sydin/gifts).



“Spencer,” said Carlton Lassiter, clomping his way into the Humane Society with a very deep sigh. “You didn’t tell me you wanted to see dogs. If you’d informed me we were about to engage with canines, I would have changed out of my good shoes and into something that would better endure manure.”

“But that would have ruined the surprise,” pointed out Shawn Spencer as he eagerly led Carlton toward the row of cages where the adoptable dogs waited for them, paws placed flat upon wire cages. Shawn immediately cooed at the tiny dogs clustering around his knees, and he bent toward them and opened his arms wide. “LOVE ME!” he demanded of the dogs.

“So you’re looking for an automatic affection factory,” observed Lassiter. He was kneeling and trying to get the attention of one – any – of the mutts, but they ignored him for Shawn. And then there was a very small cocker spaniel pawing at his pants, and he had to bend to coo at it.

“Why do I need that when I have you?” Carlton curled his upper lip at that statement, patting the dog nearest his hand. 

“Why am I here again?” He wondered out loud. Well, he understood why he was in the relationship – because Spencer had seduced him and probably broke several laws regarding ethics in the process - but he didn’t know why he was specifically in the room while Shawn looked at dogs and tried to pick the best one out.

“We’re feathering our love nest,” said Shawn wisely.

“Ah,” said Lassiter. “With fur.”

“Duh, my dear. We don’t need anything else to make us happy. Just cute animals and a happy place where we can see each other’s beautiful, smiling faces.”

“Please don’t nauseate me in front of the dogs,” Carlton said. 

****

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He brought up the trip – which had been fruitless, because Shawn wanted to adopt all of the dogs and couldn’t afford to do so – when talking to Guster and O’Hara the next day during lunchtime.

“He took you to look at dogs with him?” Gus’ eyes widened, and Lassiter leaned back and stared at him. “You have no idea why this is such a major deal, do you?”

“We went to a shelter – we saw some cute animals. What on earth is so serious about that?” asked Carlton.

“That wasn’t just a shelter visit,” said Gus. “That was a marriage proposal!”

Lassiter stared at him. “Oh really, come on, Guster! There’s no way he was proposing marriage to me via dog acquisition. Why on earth would he do such a thing when he can do it the normal way, like a romantic trip, or by pouring me a glass of wine?” A beat. His eyes widened. “Oh my God, he’s proposing marriage to me!”

“Are you going to say yes?” Gus asked. “You can’t just let him get all proposy around you and not say yes!” 

“I have no idea if he IS proposing marriage - in spite of your eerie symbiosis. We’ve only been dating a few months and I don't know his intentions, damn it!” He slammed down another mouthful of black coffee.

“A few months of dating and you’re moving in together,” said Gus. 

“A fair assessment, but it’s still too soon,” said Carlton. “I’m going to spend a little time seeing if we can get on the same page,” he said. “I have no idea what he wants, and I have no idea what he truly needs, so I’m going to play it all by ear.”

“Dude, you don’t have to play it by ear. He wants you. He’s gesturing wildly,” said Gus.  


Lassiter let out a very deep sigh. “That remains to be seen, Guster.”

A man like Carlton Lassiter refused to play his cards anywhere but close to his vest.

****

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Carlton made dinner that night. It was his turn to cook and Shawn had a tendency to prepare sundaes and nothing but sundaes when called upon to cook for the two of them. Or make something deep fat fried and horrifyingly artery clogging. Oh, and he could make a mean cookie, but those seemed to always come from a tube. 

So Carlton put his elbows to the whetstone. He made a fine coq au vin and then managed to get a whole bottle of fresh, beautiful young chardonnay chilled in the refrigerator. There were mashed potatoes, too. And lots of fluffy rolls to eat with it.

Never let it be said that he didn't understand the art of domesticity.

After dinner, when he cleared the table he turned to Shawn and asked, “is there something you wanted to say to me?” Shawn went wide-eyed, like a man with a gun trained to his most sensitive area.

“Yes,” said Shawn, whose gaze went oddly misty. "Would you be so honored as to go to the animal shelter with me?”

****

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They saw dozens of dogs, but none of them had the right feeling, none of them the correct panache. There was a sense that they’d both completely lost the thread and would never find the right dog for them at this point, and Lassiter felt, too, like it was some sort of curse being levied upon them. But he kept his head on straight and they kept locomoting toward what they hoped was some sort of solution to “the dog issue.”

And, Carlton thought, “the engagement issue.”

He didn’t have the temerity to ask Shawn if he was actually proposing, so instead he tried to wait it out. Took him off on romantic dates – even hot-air ballooning. Tried to see if there was anything, any sign, that just maybe the man wanted to make him his husband.

But Shawn didn’t budge. And eventually they started looking around for kittens.

****

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Carlton felt as if he would burst if they didn’t actually talk about the problem. It all came to a head when they were alone in a shelter, sitting in a cloud of puppies. 

“Damn it, Spencer, have you been trying to propose to me by adopting a dog with me?”

Shawn responded by saying. “I do believe we’ve found him!” 

He pointed to a little mutt with blue-green eyes hanging around Lassiter’s knee. It licked away at Lassiter’s fingertips and he cooed at it, humming happily through his nose.

“It seems sporty…athletic. Even…intelligent!” Lassiter cautiously patted the top of the dog’s head. “I think I’ll call it Scamp.”

“Fine. We’ll get married in Las Vegas.”

Lassiter blinked at Shawn. “I absolutely don’t believe you. You’ve been proposing the whole time?”

“You couldn’t tell?” Shawn seemed nonplussed. 

“No, of course I couldn’t tell!” Carlton held out his hand, supplicating. “You didn’t say the words, you didn’t get down on your knee.”

“Marriages are better if you start them on equal footing,” said Shawn reasonably. “Look at my folks, and your folks..." "My father left the family unexpectedly..." Carlton said. "...And if you can’t look into a person in their delicious, blue eyes and tell them you want to be the Hot Cheeze on their Twinkies of love…” Lassiter cringed. “…Then you shouldn't even bother with the wedding part of things.”

“But you have to admit it’s not fair to propose to someone without **proposing** to someone,” Carlton pointed out.

“We thought you were saying no, didn’t we, Scamp?” Shawn asked the dog. “Though not in a super head-on way, then again we didn’t do any of this head-on, did we? Noey-woey!”

“Again. Don’t make me sick,” Lassiter said. “So you love me? Want to marry me…”

“And have puppies with you. Though that makes it sound like I’m interested in something entirely different, something much, much more filthy involving werewolf schlong.” He cooed at the dog. “Things that aren’t legal anywhere in California!”

“Oh my God, please stop talking, please stop trying to make what you said sound less perverse.” 

“Too late!” Shawn sang out. “So you didn’t say no?”

“How could I? I didn’t know I was being proposed to.”

“You need to get on the ball, baby!” said Shawn. “Join me! On the ball-iness!” 

Lassiter groaned as if he’d been shot in the foot. Shawn simply smiled at him, the sweetest smile, the most fondly loving expression, demanding his love and affection with a wiggle of his eyebrow and a cocky grin. He was impossible. He was wonderful. He was Shawn Spencer – what could Carlton say?

“I was thinking we could get married in the winter,” said Shawn. “In a hot-air balloon.”

“That sounds perfectly impractical.”

“Good,” Shawn said, and kissed Lassiter’s lips.

****

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**Six Years Later**

Shawn Spencer-Lassiter clicked his tongue and jingled the toggles of his dog's leash. “Come here, Scamp! It’s time for walkies!”

The big, rugged mixed-breed dog trotted right up to his master and headbutted Shawn right in the side. Scamp had grown and thrived in his master’s home and now was a beautiful, well-appointed fellow. Shawn grinned and bent over to properly harness the dog in his leash and collar. 

Carlton approached a moment later, then wrapped his arm around Shawn from behind. “Good morning,” he said, and then kissed the back of his neck. “Husband.”

“Morning yourself. You’re looking like a fine slice of wedding cake.” Shawn licked his lips in appreciation.

“Don’t be soppy.” Carlton kissed Shawn’s neck. “Be sure to get Scamp’s water bottle and his custom jogging booties on. I don’t want him to end up with sore paws from his run.”

“But you’re the finest man in the world! The most handsome and wonderful! The downright cutest!” said Shawn.

“Shawn,” Carlton sighed. “Is this some weird way of telling me you want to adopt a child this year?”

“Let’s check out the shelter for a bunny rabbit,” he said. “Then we’ll talk about it.”


End file.
